KOTLC reads KOTLC
by Glitter-Fangirls-23
Summary: Sophie goes to Barnes and Nobles to discover a middle-grade book series. Reading the summary reveals the books to have shocking parallels to her own life! Contains a book club, countless fourth wall breaks, Dex fighting to be relevant, and a heck of a lot of weirdness! Disclaimer: I don't own KOTLC!
1. Chapter 1 (Preface)

_"Sophie Elizabeth Foster is unmatchable."_

_Suddenly, the universe freezes. Sophie is transported to a bookstore called Barnes and Nobles. _

"Yay! A bookstore!" Sophie squealed. "I love books! There's the Unwanteds... those are pretty good! Wait, what's this? Keeper of the Lost Cities?"

She picked up book one. The summary read **_Twelve-year-old Sophie Foster has a secret. She is a Telepath, and has a unique ability to hear the thoughts of everyone around her- something that she's never known how to explain, and has made her an outcast, even in her own family. But everything changes the day she meets Fitz, a mysterious boy who appears out of nowhere and also reads minds. She discovers that there's somewhere she _does _belong, and staying where she is will put her in grave danger. In the blink of an eye, Sophie is forced to leave behind everything and start a new life in a place that is vastly different from her own. Sophie has new rules and skills to learn, and not everyone is thrilled with her "homecoming". There are secrets buried deep in Sophie's memory, secrets that other people desperately want. Would even kill for..._**

"Wow, this is really interesting!" Sophie said. "It's like someone wrote a book about my life! I should show this to my friends!" She light leaped to Everglen.

"Fitz! Biana! I just found the coolest thing!" Sophie yelled.

"Really?" Fitz said. "Is it... TEAL!?"

"No, better!" Sophie said.

"NOTHING IS BETTER THAN TEAL!" Fitz yelled.

"SPARKLES ARE BETTER THAN TEAL!" Biana fired back.

"MOM! DAD! BIANA DOESN'T LIKE TEAL! DISOWN HER!" Fitz shouted.

"NO REASON TO WORRY!" Alden screamed randomly.

"What happened to all our headache medicine?" Della groaned.

"So what's this really cool thing... THAT ISN'T TEAL!?" Fitz asked.

"Someone wrote a book about our lives! Mostly my life!" Sophie answered. "It's by Shannon Messenger. Who's that? Sounds really evil." **(Lol sorry Shannon! It's true! But I still worship you!)**

"We should read it!" Biana said. She hailed Tam and Linh, while Fitz hailed Marella and Keefe.

"Is that all?" Fitz asked once all of their friends except Dex arrived.

"I think." Sophie said.

"Wait, what about Dex?" Biana asked.

"Oh yeah, him!" Sophie said. "I remember him!" She hailed Dex and he light leaped there quickly.

"I can't believe you guys forgot me."

_**"GET USED TO IT!" **_The book said. **(YES IT'S A TALKING BOOK.)**

"So, why are we here?" Keefe asked. "Base quest?"

"Better!" Sophie said. "Reading!"

"What are we reading?" Keefe asked. "A book about hair?"

Marella rolled her eyes. "Only you would read a book about hair."

"I would!" Tam volunteered.

"I would!" Biana agreed.

"I would!" Fitz added. **(Guys, remember, he uses BIANA'S hair products.)**

"Weirdos." Dex muttered.

"Yeah," Sophie agreed.

"Guys, they can like hair if they want!" Linh said kindly.

"So what's the book really about?" Dex asked.

"Us!" Sophie said. "Well, mostly me. But look! Dex is on the cover!"

**_"FOR THE FIRST AND LAST TIME." _**the book said.

Dex frowned. "No one appreciates me."

_**"NOPE!"**_

"I DO!" said the fangirls.

"I have fangirls?" asked Dex.

"You all do! Especially Keefe!" squealed the fangirls.

_"Go away, Fangirls. You aren't supposed to be in this story." _said THE ULTIMATE FANGIRLS (AKA US).

"Darn." said the fangirls. They all left, including THE ULTIMATE FANGIRLS.

"What was that?" asked Tam.

"I don't even know." said Sophie... too quickly.

"Wait..." said Keefe. "Are YOU a fangirl?"

"Not for Keeper of the Lost Cities!" Sophie protested. "Just Harry Potter, Percy Jackson, Hunger Games, Divergent, Unwanteds, Wicked, Hamilton, Dear Evan Hansen, The Fault in Our Stars-"

"What about Twilight?" Fitz asked.

"NO!" Sophie yelled.

"She's a fangirl..." said Keefe in wonder.

"CAN WE JUST READ THE BOOK SO SOPHIE CAN FANGIRL OVER HERSELF!" Marella yelled.

"Okay!" Sophie said. "Let's all rotate reading it out loud. I'll go first.

**(AN: Please note: WE DO NOT OWN KEEPER OF THE LOST CITIES! ITALICIZED BOLD MEANS EXCERPT FROM THE BOOK! ALL CREDIT GOES TO SHANNON MESSENGER!) **

_**"Preface:"**_ Sophie read. _**"Blurry, fractured memories ran through Sophie's mind, but she couldn't piece them together. She tried opening her eyes and found only darkness. Something rough pressed against her wrists and ankles, refusing to let her move. A wave of cold rushed though her as the horrifying realization dawned. **_**SHE WAS A HOSTAGE. _A cloth across her lips stifled her cry for help, and a sedative's sweet aroma stung her nose when she inhaled, making her head spin. Were they going to kill her? Would the Black Swan really destroy their own creation? What was the point of Project Moonlark, then? What was the point of the Everblaze? The drug lulled her towards a dreamless oblivion, but she fought back- clinging to the one memory that could shine a _****_tiny spot of light in the think, inky haze. A pair of beautiful, aquamarine eyes."_**

"Mine?" Biana asked. "Aw, thanks."

"No!" Fitz snapped. "She was talking about MY EYES! MY BEAUTIFUL BEAUTIFUL EYES!"

"Guys." Keefe reasoned. "She was talking about Alden. Duh."

"Ew!" Sophie squeaked. _**"Fitz's eyes. Her first friend in her new life. Her first friend ever."**_

"HA!" Fitz yelled. "It was me! The _*EYES* _shall triumph!"

"Great. Fitz, be sure to thank your father, because meeting you first is really the only reason Sophie thought of you." Dex snapped.

"What?" Fitz asked.

"Can we just continue?" Linh asked.

Sophie nodded. _**"Maybe if she hadn't noticed him that day in the museum, none of this would have happened."**_

"Fitz, how dare you?" Tam joked.

Fitz attempted a hair flip. "She couldn't help but notice my good looks."

_**"No. She knew it'd been to late even then. The white first were already burning- curving toward her city and filling the sky with sticky, sweet smoke. The spark before the blaze."**_

"That was a scary prologue." Linh said. "What was happening?"

"I think it was when we were kidnapped." Dex answered.

"Let's not read those in the next books." Sophie suggested.

"There are more books?" Keefe asked.

"Duh, we can't fit all the events of my crazy time here in this one book!" Sophie answered.

**Hope you enjoyed! I mean, of course you enjoyed! And remember: NEVER READ THE PROLOGUES!**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**We have the honor to be your disobedient servants,**

**(Hmm... what's our collaborative signature? G. Fan? A. Butt? Yeah... let's go with G. Fan.)**

**G. FAN!**


	2. Chapter 2 (Book one)

**LunaLovegood397: Thanks! I'll/We'll try!**

**L: Slightly... heh heh heh. Thank you! I 100% did not come up with it! Lol yeah.**

**Kotlcfangirl: Thank you! Lol yes. **

**Sofie Foster: Yep! Thanks!**

**Thank you to Stargirl020 for the favorite! **

**Hello, peeps! I/We have returned! With another chapter of your new favorite fanfiction, KOTLC READS KOTLC! Time for book one! This chapter picks up where the last one leaves off.**

"This really a long book." Sophie noted. "Do you want to just all read a copy and then we can talk about it later?"

"Ooh! Like a book club!" Keefe exclaimed. "Not that I've ever been in a book club... heh heh... totally."

Biana gasped. "OH MY MALLOWMELT! KEEFE'S A NERD!"

"No I'm not!" Keefe insisted.

"It's okay, I think nerds are cute." Sophie smiled.

"BUT I'M A NERD, AND YOU DIDN'T LIKE ME!" Dex yelled.

Sophie gave Dex a strange look. "Do I know you from somewhere?"

Dex facepalmed. "Even the girl with a photographic memory forgets me! THAT'S how irrelevant I-"

_**"Sorry, Deck, you've maxed out on your pagetime. Kindly allow the rest of us to ignore your existence like we always do." **_The book said.

Dex sighed. "Fine."

"Well. That was weird." Sophie said. "Anyway, I'm glad Keefe's a nerd! Nerds are super cute!"

"Oh, um, thanks, Foster. I guess I can be a nerd _and _a prankster." Keefe blushed.

"YOU MADE KEEFE BLUSH! OH MY GOSH OH MY GOSH OH MY GOSH!" Biana squealed.

"Hey, I'm a nerd too! I love Hamilton Potter and the Percy Games and Dear Divergent Wicked or whatever the heck you were talking about earlier." Fitz insisted.

"Um... sure." Tam said.

"It's _Harry_ Potter, Percy _Jackson_, _Hunger_ Games, _Divergent, Wicked, Hamilton,_ Dear _Evan Hansen_, and a few others!" Sophie yelled. "NEVER INSULT MY FANDOMS LIKE THIS AGAIN! OR YOU WILL BE PUNISHED! YOU WILL BE FORCED TO READ THE FAULT IN OUR STARS WHILE LISTENING TO THE SOUNDTRACK OF DEPRESSING MUSICAL SONGS THAT I MADE!"

"Wow." Linh said. "Don't you think that's a bit harsh?"

"Nah." Keefe shrugged.

"Anyway, I can get- how many of us are there? One, two, three, four, five-"

"SIX SEVEN EIGHT NINE NUMBER TEN PACES FIRE!" Tam screamed.

"TAM'S A HAMILFAN!" Sophie screeched. "ASDFGHJKL!"

"What is that noise you just made?" Fitz asked.

"It's the sacred fangirl noise! Others include pterodactyl screeching and stuff like JAJAHAHAJJSGSHDHDGAKAJABAHVAVAFACAGAFACCA  
GSFAFHSGSGAHSHSGHSGSGSHSHGDHDJDHGDJFLSJSGHDHD" Sophie explained. "Duh."

"Ooooooookay then."

"Anyway, I believe there are six of us-"

"SEVEN!" Dex yelled.

"Like I said, six of us, but I already have a copy, so I only need five... maybe I'll get an extra just in case."

"Good idea."

**ONE WEEK LATER:**

**(Tam: IN THE LIVING ROOM STRESSING! MY FATHER'S STONE FACED WHILE YOU'RE ASKING FOR HIS BLESSING! I'M DYING INSIDE AS YOU WINE AND DINE, AND I'M TRYING NOT TO CRY CAUSE THERE'S NOTHING THAT YOUR MIND CAN'T DOOOOOO!)**

"Okay, welcome to the KOTLC book club's first meeting! We read Keeper of the Lost Cities by Shannon Messenger. My first discussion question is, what was everyone's favorite part?" Sophie asked. "Mine was just the whole book. I can't choose."

"OOH! OOH! OOH!" Fitz squealed. "PICK ME! PICK ME!" Without waiting for Sophie to pick him, he said "My favorite part was on page seven!"

"I haven't quite memorized each part and it's corresponding page number. Can you quote the scene you like?"

Fitz nodded eagerly. _**"The smile he flashed belonged on a movie screen, and Sophie's heart did a weird fluttery thing. **_

_**'Is this you?' he asked, pointing to the picture.**_

_**Sophie nodded, feeling tongue-tied. He was probably fifteen, and by far the cutest boy she'd ever seen. So why was he talking to her?"**_

"So, your favorite part was when you met Sophie?" Keefe asked.

"Not just when I met Sophie, but when she thought I was cute! It was like love at first sight!"

"Ew." Dex said, making a face.

"I can't believe Foster would actually like someone that much for his _looks._" Keefe grumbled.

"MY EYES ARE TEAL TOO!" Biana screamed.

Sophie just blushed. "Okay, um, anyway, how about you, Keefe?"

"Mine was when Fitz sisterzoned you AND THEN friendzoned you!"

"I would never do such a thing!" Fitz protested.

Keefe cleared his throat. "Page 384."

_**"'You're already like my little sister. This would just make it official."'**_

_**'Oh. Great.' She knew he meant it as a compliment, but the word 'sister' still stung." The book read from itself.**_

"And then on page 486..." Keefe continued.

_**"'I guess I'll have to settle for being your friend.'"**_

"See? This is like if Sophie decided now that she liked Dex after all and wanted to date him, after already rejecting him!" Keefe exclaimed.

"Yeah, I see your point. But anyway... Dex, your turn."

"My favorite part was when I was relevant!" Dex exclaimed.

"I'm sorry, I don't remember that happening at all. Can you please elaborate?"

Dex sighed. "Never mind."

Sophie shrugged. "Biana, how about you?"

"I really liked the part where you slammed my brother into a wall!"

Keefe sighed happily. "Good times, good times."

"I guess that is kinda funny, looking back." Sophie smiled. "Tam, how about you?"

"I like all the times when Sophie's about to find out what the Great Gulon Incident is, but then she doesn't get to."

"Yeah, seriously, what is that? PLEASE TELL ME!" Sophie begged.

"Okay, you want to finally hear the story of my genius? Well, one fateful day-"

_**"HEY! SHE'S NOT ALLOWED TO KNOW! THE READERS MUST REMAIN IN TORTURE FOR ALL ETERNITY!" The book interrupted.**_

Sophie groaned. "I'm never going to find out!"

"It's okay. I have a plan." Keefe said confidently. "Dex. Distract the book."

Dex nodded. "Hey book! I heard a rumor that I was going to be on the cover of book nine!"

_**"WHAT? NONSENSE! YOU CANNOT BE RELEVANT!"**_

While the book and Dex were arguing about his relevance, Keefe came over and whispered something into Sophie's ear.

"Ohhh, that's what it is! Thank you so much!" Sophie squealed. "That's so cool!"

"Hey, how come we don't get to find out?" whined the fangirls.

_The ultimate fangirls laughed. "NO ONE WILL EVER KNOW WHAT THE GREAT GULON INCIDENT IS! IF WE SUFFER, YOU SUFFER WITH US!"_

"Ooookay..." said the fangirls. "We're reading a story written by psychopaths. Good to know."

"That was weird!" Sophie said. "Anyway, the mysteries are solved! For me anyway. Linh, what was your favorite part?"

"I liked when Iggy tried to save Sophie from the Neverseen! That was so cute! Iggy is totally my favorite character!"

"YEAH! GO IGGY!" Biana cheered.

"Iggy is awesome. Which brings me to my second discussion question: Favorite characters? You're not allowed to say yourself."

The boys all groaned. "What do you mean, we can't say ourselves?"

"I mean, you cannot be your own favorite character. Mine is... my favorites are Grady and Edaline."

"Iggy is totally my favorite!" Biana said. Linh agreed.

"I would say my favorite is Keefe." Tam said.

"WHAT?!" Everyone else exclaimed.

"Just kidding, it's Biana." Tam blushed.

"Well, if it can't be me, I'd say my favorite character is Foster!" Keefe decided.

"No, Sophie's _my _favorite character." Fitz protested.

"Guys! Sophie can be _both_ of your favorites. She's also mine." Dex added.

"Love square." Tam coughed.

Sophie pretended not to hear him. "THIS CONCLUDES OUR FIRST EVER KOTLC READS KOTLC BOOK CLUB MEETING! I'll get copies of Exile in time for next chapter."

"Chapter?" Dex asked.

**_"OH NO, THE FOURTH WALL!" The book yelled._**

**Hope you enjoyed! Be sure to check out each individual account, A very obsessed fangirl (ME!) and Glitterbutt23 (My partner in crime). Please review!**


	3. Chapter 3 (Book two)

**KotlcExpert521: Sorry, no, just the two of us. :( You're still an awesome fangirl though! Lol, thanks! Yes, poor Dex :(. PJO is pretty great, I'm not doing a crossover but I'm sure they exist! Don't worry, I'm VERY crazy. I don't hate you! bYeEeEeEe!**

**MidnightBunny: WHY THANK YOU. MATURE? NEVER HEARD OF IT.**

**Country-Fangirl: Indeed he is! Thanks!**

**L: Poor Dex, lol. It was, sorry it wasn't clear. Grady's pretty cool. Thanks! **

**Sofie Foster: ASDFGHJKL! *Pterodactyl screech* IQKGIBNADDAKSWOYRITOAPLJOKVXEQMZALROGVAERET! I love making weird fangirl noises.**

**Hey... it's A very obsessed fangirl still... Glitterbutt23 isn't really active on here anymore... but oh well... **

**Legacy comes out Tuesday! aHhHhH sO sOoN i CaN't WaIt! ! ! ! **

**Chapter one of Legacy is available on ... I have an announcement about it on my personal account in my Legacy story...**

**I... might... love... ellipsis... maybe...**

**Hope you guys had a great Halloween... and got a TON of candy... I got really nauseous on Friday (Nov. 1) but it was worth it...**

**I'd like to take a moment to acknowledge that I'm the least organized author ever... I have another tab open with last chapter... because I can't remember it very well...**

**Enjoy the chapter...**

**...**

**...**

**...**

**Sorry... I'll stop...**

"HELLO EVERYONE AND WELCOME TO THE THIRD EVER MEETING OF THE KOTLC READS KOTLC BOOK CLUB!" Sophie yelled. Everyone cheered, except Dex who they forgot to invite. Linh was the first to notice this.

"Hey, where's Dex?" Linh asked.

"Dex... hang on, I think that rings a bell... maybe the Black Swan erased him from my memory?"

"Nope," said Mr. Forkle, who was ominously stalking them in the corner. "We never erased him from your memory. Our enemy, Shannon Messenger-"

"Wait, I thought our enemy was the Neverseen. Unless Shannon Messenger is part of the Neverseen?" Keefe said.

"No, Shannon Messenger is the person who wrote us into existence, and controls everything that happens in our lives." Mr. Forkle explained. A wall with a number four painted on it collapsed.

"Well, there goes the fourth wall," Sophie shrugged. "Continue."

"And our enemy, Shannon Messenger, decided Dex didn't matter anymore and slowly started erasing him from the books. There's a chance he won't even show up in Legacy. And forget about book nine!" Mr. Forkle finished.

Suddenly, Dex stepped over the ruins of the fourth wall. "HOW DARE YOU FORGET ABOUT ME! I NOW HAVE AN OFFICIAL PORTRAIT ON SHANNON MESSENGER'S INSTAGRAM! WITH A RAINBOW IGGY ON MY SHOULDER! _A RAINBOW IGGY!_"

"On Shannon Messenger's instagram! This can't be right!" Mr. Forkle explained. He whipped out his phone- which he now has, for some reason- and logged onto instagram. "OMG! CHAPTER ONE IS HERE! AD BREAK!" he pterodactyl screeched.

_The ultimate fangirls arrived for the ad. "Do you struggle with cliffhangers? Is waiting for the next book to come out torture?" They started._

"Wait, don't you need annoying music playing in the background for the ad?" Keefe asked.

_"Oh yeah. Hmm... fangirls, can you sing for us?" The ultimate fangirls asked._

The fangirls nodded and sang in a high, screechy voice. "I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES, EVERYBODY'S NERVES, EVERYBODY'S NERVES. I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES AND THIS IS HOW IT GOES!"

_While the fangirls sang this awful song, the ultimate fangirls continued with the ad. "Well, if those apply to you, wouldn't it be the best thing ever to read a special excerpt from the book you're waiting for? Well, NOW IT'S POSSIBLE! Go to to read chapter one of Legacy from Keeper of the Lost Cities, and read the Flashback paperback for an exclusive Keefe POV scene as well as_ another _excerpt from Legacy! They're so good by the way. AAAHHH MY FANGIRL HEART!"_

"AD BREAK OVER!" Mr. Forkle announced. "Continue with your book club meeting!"

Then, the talking copy of Exile waltzed into the room, because that's totally possible.

**"Hey, guys!" it said. "Hello Sophie, and Keefe, and Fitz, and Linh, and Tam, and Biana, and Mr. Forkle, and... sorry, who are you again?"**

Dex facepalmed. "I'll see myself out." He threw a weird explosive-gadget-thingy on the fourth wall rubble and it exploded. Dex smiled and walked through the even more demolished fourth wall.

"Okay, so, um, Exile... let's discuss ships!" Sophie decided. "Because honestly those are all the series is about at this point."

Dex reappeared in the former fourth wall. "Um, well, there's some Sodex fluff, but you can see me starting to slowly fade away... metaphorically, of course, Sophie's the one who literally faded."

"Sodex?" Fitz scoffed. "That ship sunk like the Titanic!"

Dex rolled his eyes.

"Well, I think book two is where we really start to see Keephie become an option. And ASDFGHJKL it's so CUUUTE!" Biana screeched.

"I know, right? And that ride on Silveny towards the end is just so romantic!" Keefe agreed.

"It really is..." Sophie sighed. Then she slapped herself in the face. "WHAT! NO! I AM NOT IN LOVE WITH KEEFE SENCEN! HE'S ONLY THE MOST HANDSOME, FUNNY, LOYAL, AMAZING GUY EVER- Oh wait..."

_"Well, I'd rather date mallowmelt, but you're entitled to your opinion!" the ultimate fangirl who is otherwise known as A very obsessed fangirl said, eating mallowmelt._

"Okay then. But OMG SOPHIE LIKES KEEFE OMG OMG OMG OMG!" Linh pterodactyl screeched.

Fitz sighed. "Fangirls."

"Yeah, at least fanboys don't make those weird noises." Tam agreed.

**"Oh really?" said the book. "Are you sure about that?"**

"Yeah, pretty sure." Tam said nervously.

The book got its phone- don't ask me how that's possible- and started playing "It's Quiet Uptown." Tam screamed. "ADFHEWIRUEWOSTUERD PHILLIIIIP! HE WAS TOO YOUNG! NOOOOOO! ADHFERITERORWUQ- yeah, you've made your point. All fanpeople make the sacred noises- I MEAN STUPID NOISES!"

At this point, Biana and Linh had recovered from their fangirl heart attacks and Sophie and Keefe decided to talk about their relationship stuff later. Because of course this trash the ultimate fangirl(s) are writing MUST come first!

"Okay, so Keephie is obviously going to win and Dexphie obviously has no chance. What about Fitzphie? That takes a hard blow in Exile..."

"LoOk I'm SoRrY!" Fitz yelled.

"Okay, I forgive you. But we should still talk about that anyway, just because."

Keefe cleared his throat dramatically. "Well, I think that Fitz was a total Iggy fart. While I do agree that I _guess _he deserved to be forgiven, I definitely think it should've taken more than just looking at Sophie with his _BOOTIFUL TEAL EYES. _Like, we all know that if I had teal eyes, being forgiven for fake-joining the Neverseen would've been a _lot _easier."

Everyone nodded, except Fitz who screamed "TRAITOR!" and attacked Keefe with teal eye contacts. Keefe retaliated by force-feeding Fitz an elixir that turned his eyes... *GASP*... ICE BLUE!

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Fitz yelled, because for some reason there was a mirror and he could see his eyes?

"Yeah, I think now would be a good time to stop..." Sophie said. "SEE YOU GUYS NEXT WEEK, ON _KOTLC READS KOTLC_!"

**Well... I hope you guys enjoyed... please review... AND ENJOY LEGACY, COMING THIS TUESDAY!**

**~A. Fan.**


	4. Chapter 4 (Book three)

**BAHAHAHAHA LAST CHAPTER I SAID "See you guys next week!" Yeah, and then I went on a six month hiatus... I crack myself up.**

**Okay, I'm super sorry that I disappeared more than Dex did. Since I've been active on my A. Fan account and writing Assassin on here (Go check it out!), I don't really have much of an excuse. **

**But without further ado- oh wait, I have to respond to reviews. Okay, with one further ado (is that grammatically correct?), we shall proceed to chapter four!**

**Sokeefe54355: YAY! ME TOO!**

**LilyoftheShips: I'm SORRYYY! BUT YES! Love the nickname!**

**Kittys3ction123: He deserves credit! We must protect the cinnamon roll!**

**Sofie Foster: That's fine!**

**Sunstorm232: I know! It was amazing, right? My copy didn't come till the Saturday after and I binge read it all day, despite having to go to a Bar Mitzvah. Lol. Thank you!**

**L: Kind of, but in book one, it seemed like it would probably be either Fitzphie or Dexphie. And yes! But I may include separate chapters for the short stories (Like the "Until she was ready for more" one.) Sorry! But thanks.**

**Cary: Of course he can't. We're all pterodactyls at heart! Yeah, you go fangirls! Thank you! BAHAHAHAHA SIX MONTH HIATUS!**

**Country-Fangirl: Agreed to both! Thanks!**

**Okay, now that that ado is out of the way (seriously, is this correct grammar?), we shall proceed to chapter four!**

"Hello, everyone!" Sophie announced, sitting down in the designated book club leaders chair. "How are you guys?"

Tam, who was sitting in a corner far away from everyone else, yelled "SHOULDN'T WE BE DOING THIS ON ZOOM!?"

Sophie froze. "Wait, can elves get coronavirus?"

Dex nodded.

"Seriously, someone answer me!"

_**Everblaze (the book) rolled its eyes (don't ask how this is possible.) "Yes, of course elves can get coronavirus. Books cannot, but I'd rather you not die before you can finish the series. That'd be a rather disappointing twist to Unlocked."**_

_The ultimate fangirl (because there's only one now) suddenly appeared. "Oh! That reminds me! At the beginning of the fanfiction, I stated that the universe froze after Flashback. Now that Legacy has been released (Six months ago), the events of that book have already played out and frozen after the cliffhanger- I won't specify because I know I have a reader who hasn't yet read it, and I don't want to spoil it for them._

All fanpeople who have not yet read Legacy thanked their queen A Very Obsessed Fangirl.

"All right, weird authors aside-" An explosion sounded. Sophie shrugged, used to the fourth wall break by now. "-We should stay safe from the disease, so how about we reconvene on Zoom?" Everyone nodded. "Dex, I need your help setting up the zoom meeting."

Dex's periwinkle eyes widened. "You- you need my help? Does that mean... _I'm relevant_!?" he gasped.

Sophie shrugged. "I guess."

**_"WHAT!? THIS IS BLASPHEMY!" exclaimed the book. _**

_The ultimate fangirl reappeared. "Oh! While their setting that up, how about another ad break?"_

The other fangirls nodded and began singing the Ballad of Bo and Ro.

_The ultimate fangirl thought, which would come to the surprise of the crowd, who do not believe she has a brain. They may or may not be right, A. Fan is withholding judgement. While the crowd was in her mind, she decided she would advertise The Abyss Of Author-Hating, a collaborative fanfiction between her and IStillHopeForSophex. It is on his account. The story is about the adventures of the crowd, a crowd of... people(?) existing purely to insult A. Fan, and GT, a person similar to the crowd that insults IStillHopeForSophex. Both voices of doubt are thrown off a cliff, and craziness follows! "Go read The Abyss Of Author-Hating!" she exclaimed. "It is a collaborative fan-"_

A fangirl cleared her throat. "Um, A. Fan, you already advertised it in the narration."

_"Oh, I did? Okay. Well, the Zoom meeting should be ready by now, so let's return to the story! Ad break over!"_

"All right, so, it's been a while," Sophie announced, sitting in her three-walled bedroom. A plate of mallowmelt was right next to her, the gooey heaven slowly disappearing into her mouth. Keefe's gaze hardened, obviously jealous. But was he jealous of Sophie for having mallowmelt, or mallowmelt for having Sophie's love? It is unclear.

"Hey, I was- [removed because Legacy spoilers, but if you've read it, you'll know.]" Keefe said, giving himself a valid excuse.

Fitz nodded. "And I was depressed about [another Legacy spoiler. Again, if you've read it, you'll know.]"

"Well, yeah, you guys have good excuses," Linh said.

"The only person who doesn't is A. Fan," Biana added.

"True, true," Sophie agreed. "Anyway, A. Fan is too lazy to go get her copy of Everblaze, so we'll see how this goes!"

_**"Tsk, tsk, A. Fan. How rude," the book scolded. **_

_A. Fan sighed, insulted by one of her favorite books. Nothing new, though, she was pretty sure she'd made Shannon Messenger call her a psychopath at least once._

"Everblaze was full of plot twists and stuff!" Sophie said. "How about we go around and say which plot point we think is most noteworthy? I'll call on you in order of who appears on my screen. If you want to reply to someone's answer, unmute your mic and use the raise hand icon."

"Woah, guys, look!" Keefe declared. "There's a feature to change your name!" Sophie saw the caption "LORD HUNKYHAIR GULONMASTER" replace Keefe's name under his picture.

"That's awesome!" Biana said. She changed her name to "Lady of the Sparkles."

Sophie then saw dimples appear in Deck's cheek. He began changing all of their names, using the Technopathy that for so long had made him seem useless. Fitz became "Wonderchandelier," while Sophie was "Queen of Oblviousness." Tam's name, appropriately, was changed to "Sir Salty Shadows." After deciding that Linh was undeserving of having her name changed, he changed his own to "TECHNO OVERLORD." Linh then decided on "princess purryfins."

"Okay, are you guys done with that?" Sophie asked. Reluctantly, they all nodded. "Good. Most noteworthy plot twist. Keefe, go."

"Um... my mom joining the Neverseen?"

"Right," Sophie said, unable to believe she forgot that. "Um, Deck."

"It's Dex!" he exploded.

"Yeah, whatever, Desk. Answer the question."

"...probably the ability circlet," he muttered. "But hey! You can't be mad at me for that if you can't remember who I am!"

"How did you get here again?" Sophie asked. Dex rolled his eyes. "Okay, um, Fitz."

"When we started cognate training, even though we didn't really know it yet! Remember? Good times, good times..." Fitz sighed, teal eyes sparkling.

"I seem to remember Foster blocking you the first time you entered her mind," Keefe retorted.

"Guys! No ship wars yet! We're only on Everblaze!" Sophie scolded.

_The ultimate fangirl popped up in the zoom meeting. "Fun fact: That was when I started hardcore shipping Team Foster-Keefe! Woo! Before that, I just didn't really care all that much, even though I didn't really like Fitz."_

"No one cares," Tam replied. "Also, don't you have a math class Zoom?"

_"Shut up," she muttered, and left._

"Oookay... Tam, what is your contribution to the discussion?"

"I would say healing Fintan," he answered. "I can't believe the council did that! Mallowmelt, they're so_ stupid_!"

"I know, right?" Sophie agreed. "Linh?"

"I agree with Tam."

"Cool. Biana?"

"Me Vanishing!" she announced, flickering in and out of sight. "Nah. That was cool, but my actual answer is probably Kenric's death. That was so sad!"

_"Yeah, right after my friend read that part, she asked me why I had gotten her into such a terrible book series," the ultimate fangirl announced, reappearing._

"Go do your logarithms!" Tam yelled.

Sophie cleared her throat. "Okay, um, I think everyone's answered but me. I would say that time I decided it would be a bright idea to read the ogre king's mind! Ugh."

**_"Hey, you didn't ask me!" the book said._**

Sophie rolled her eyes. "Fine, what do you think?"

**_"The cliffhanger!" the book announced. "When you decided you would go join the Black Swan!"_**

"Great!" Sophie announced. "This concludes today's meeting! We should see you soon(er) with Neverseen!"

**Okay, so... long chapter! Hopefully that sort of makes up for the six month hiatus? I'm so sorry, I didn't even realize how long it had been until I went back and checked today. If I don't have Neverseen up in a month, feel free to come attack me as a mob. That is May 30th, the deadline is May 30th. I'll have it up by then. I hope you guys enjoyed! **

**And I'm working on a cover design for this book, so look for that next chapter!**

**As always, please review!**


	5. Chapter 5 (Book four)

**I definitely didn't wait until eight hours before my deadline, what, no, what are you talking about, haha, that's ridiculous-**

**FINE I'M A PROCRASTINATOR, YOU HAPPY!?**

**[Later edit: Oh wait, it's the 31st. I missed the deadline. But I thought today was the 30th, because it's quarantine and I don't know the date.]**

**In my defense, I had a Bat Mitzvah, so there. And afterwards, I got to see Glitterbutt23! Like, in person! :) :) :) She's doing well, although she is going insane from quarantine, as we all are. I didn't ask about Fanfiction, but I don't think she's planning on coming back on. Oh well. Just letting you guys know that, although she disappeared off the site, she is still alive! (For now.)**

**Okay, yeah, no one cares about my ramblings. Onto the story! Which I will also attempt to do without an actual copy of the book, because it's aLL THE WAY ACROSS MY ROOM, ON MY BOOKSHELF.**

**I'm really lazy, if you couldn't tell.**

**KOTLCFan42: Don't die! But thank you! I'll try to be fast (no I won't).**

**Harryscuzin: Ugh, neither do I. Zoom kept telling my that I had to update to Zoom 5.0, but fAILED TO EXPLAIN _HOW EXACTLY _I WAS SUPPOSED TO DO THAT. **

**FosterJacksonPotter: I guess? Well, I say they can. And I am always right. So they can.**

**L: Cool! My favorite is the ARGH-I-CAN'T-CHOOSE-th. But not Flashback. I remembered you saying that you hadn't read it yet, so the non spoiler was primarily for you. She totally is! She's even oblivious to her oblivion- wait, now I'm confused. Anyway. Forkle's death surprised me more, but his twin thing shocked me even more. Thanks!**

**Okay, enjoy!**

"I hate technology," Sophie announced. After 29429382472109 tries, she had finally connected to Zoom successfully.

"Hey!" Dex protested.

"Oh. Sorry, Deck."

Dex nearly exploded. _"IT'S DEXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX! DEX WITH AN X!"_

"Is it just me, or does that sound like the title for a really terrible movie?" Fitz said. "Deck with an X."

Dex actually exploded after that.

"Um, is that possible?" Tam asked _the ultimate fangirl._

_She shrugged. "Probably not," she admitted, and un-exploded Dex._

"This story makes no sense," said Biana.

"Wait, story?" asked Linh. The fourth wall exploded, but _the ultimate fangirl _made no attempt to un-explode that one.

"Okay," Sophie said, trying to bring the Zoom Book Club back to the topic of the book. "Neverseen was kind of a crazy book. How about we do favorite and least favorite parts?"

No one responded, because she had muted them all. Most of the time technology was highly aggravating, but every so often it could be amazing.

Sophie answered her own question. "My favorite part was meeting Tam and Linh, because the rest of the book was very dark and sad and I generally hated it. But Tam and Linh are nice. So my favorite part was meeting them. And my least favorite part was when Keefe joined the Neverseen."

"Sorry," Keefe put into the chat, since Sophie had still muted him.

"It's okay," Sophie said out loud. "I forgive you. It was just very sad in the book. Keefe, you can answer next." She unmuted him.

"Okay, so, my favorite part was either the window sleepovers, because that was really awesome, or getting Mrs Stinkbottom, because Mrs Stinkbottom is pretty awesome," Keefe answered. "And my least favorite part was _clearly _the unstyled hair. Oh, that was so tragic! I'm ashamed!" Sophie knew that he probably had even lesser least favorites than that, but she decided not to push him. "And now, Mr. Stabbed-By-A-Bug can go! Hmm, maybe that was my favorite part..."

"Mute him, Sophie," said Fitz, clearly annoyed at being called Mr. Stabbed-By-A-Bug. Sophie obliged, but only because she was muting everyone when it wasn't their turn. "Well, my favorite part was clearly the cognate training! Or all the times your heart fluttered."

"MUTE HIM, FOSTER!" Keefe typed into the chat. Sophie rolled her eyes and did not oblige, but she did laugh.

"And your least favorite?"

"Getting stabbed by a bug, obviously," Fitz scowled. "Or maybe all the Team Foster Keefe in there. Oh, that was barfious indeed."

"Okay, first of all," Sophie said, "Barfious isn't a word."

"And like you and Sophie are any _less _barfious, Chandelier Head," Biana typed.

"Hey!" Fitz yelled.

"Your turn's over, Wonderboy!" Sophie cackled, definitely letting the power go to her head. "I'm muting you! Muahahahahahahaha!"

The next victim- I mean participant- was Biana, who very politely said "That's... not at all scary... um... anyway... my favorite part was when Dex and Keefe had to share a lufterator! That was amazing!"

Everyone else was laughing, apparently sharing Biana's sentiment about the lufterator. Everyone except Dex and Keefe, that is. Those two were clearly very annoyed.

"And also..." Biana paused for dramatic effect. "Keefex! I mean, Team Foster Keefe. But _Keefex!_"

Everyone else seemed to think that Biana had lost her mind. That is, everyone except the fangirls.

"We're so proud of you!" they squealed. "You're a fangirl! And not just any fangirl, a _multishipping _fangirl!"

"Um... okay," said Sophie. "Least favorite?"

"When Calla died," Biana answered sadly.

"That was mine too," Linh added to the chat.

Sophie unmuted Linh and muted Biana. "Good answer, you two. Linh, what was your favorite part?"

"Getting to meet you!" Linh decided. "You're a really awesome person and I'm glad I met you, even though it kind of resulted in a few near death experiences."

"Well, that's not false," Sophie muttered. "Tam?"

"My favorite part was also the lufterator," Tam agreed. "Mostly because it was funny to see Keefe embarrassed like that. Speaking of which, my least favorite part was meeting Keefe."

"Aww, you know you love me," Keefe added to the chat.

Sophie quickly muted Tam before he could start screaming at Keefe. "Okay, how about you guys argue in the private chat while I continue with a book club where we _don't _try to murder each other through Zoom? Marella, it's your turn."

"Well, I kind of liked the cognate stuff," Marella started. At Keefe's gagging gesture, she added "Not because I ship Fitzphie! Just because it was fun to watch them be super awkward. And my least favorite part was _how I was barely in any of it_."

"Sorry," Sophie apologized.

"I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR IRRELEVANCE PROBLEMS," Dex typed.

Proving Dex's point, Sophie said "Okay, I think that's everyone..."

Luckily, Dex's Technopathy made him able to unmute himself. "I WILL BE RELEVANT!" he screamed.

Sophie stared at him. "Who's this? I thought the meeting was password protected!"

"Okay, first of all, the password was 'password,'" Dex argued.

"I thought I told you to make it '4thwallbreak," Biana typed.

"I like Biana's better," Dex continued. "But also, I was literally the second person in this meeting that you met, and I was on the cover of the first book, and I was supposed to be your best friend, oh, and also I was your first kiss."

"Oh. Right. My mistake," Sophie said, remembering (even though she had a photographic memory... so how could she forget in the first place? Dex is just that irrelevant, I suppose). "What's your answer?"

"Well, my favorite part was making the Twiggler, because _I was relevant for once._ And my least favorite part was... hmm... probably when Fitz was stabbed by the bug."

"BUT THAT WAS HILARIOUS!" Keefe typed.

"Well, kind of, but I... didn't want him to die? Even though I hate him," Dex quickly assured them.

"Sure," Biana typed, smirking.

"HOW MANY SHIPS DO YOU HAVE!?" Tam typed.

"Um... a lot?" Biana replied.

"Okay, well, that was a great meeting, guys!" Sophie announced. "See you next time for Lodestar!"

**Woo hoo! I finally wrote something! It's terrible, but I finally wrote something! Same one-month deadline, I'll have Lodestar up by the end of June.**

**If I go at this rate, the Legacy read will come at the end of September, which makes it only a little over a month until I can type up a reading of Unlocked. Huh. That six month hiatus really helped that, huh?**

**Anywayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy...**

**Please review! :)**


	6. Chapter 6 (Book five)

**Okay, I'm sorry.**

**Yes, I am aware that I am a month late. Nightfall update should be up on schedule though, in a few days.**

**KotlcForeverandever: Thanks!**

**L: Huzzah! Though honestly, same. Nice choices. Thanks!**

**Lilac: Haha! Thanks for the idea!**

**lemontarto (ch 2): We all need Hamiltam.**

**lemontarto (ch 1): That's a good line! Thanks!**

**JT a reading cat: Yay! Oof. It's fine! Thanks! Your obedient fangirl, A. Fan.**

**Country-Fangirl: Shannon made Dex irrelevant. I only make jokes about it.**

**MidnightBunnyy: That pretty much sums up quarantine. YAY GO BIANA! (And sparkles.) Hmm, that is a pretty good part... the perils of not consulting the book. And... um... I hate to break it to you, MidnightBunnyy...**

**Sky: Hehehehe probably. I'm so obsessed with FedEx that I put it everywhere subconsciously. Great part! ARGH YES. STUPID ZOOM. Yay for Biana! XD. Actually... that is... _exactly _why I come to the reviews page, so keep on rambling! Thanks! -A. Fan.**

**Alright, enjoy!**

"I HATE ZOOM!" Tam screamed, spaztastically clicking the computer screen as though that would actually have any effect. Spoiler alert, it didn't. "STUPID COMPUTER! STUPID PANDEMIC!"

"Hey, don't be mean to the computer," Dex argued. As a Technopath, he couldn't help but defend the technology. Even if the technology honestly deserved to be murdered. It never worked, it kept freezing, glitching, and generally working against humanity. Or elvinkind. Or everything.

"It's being mean to me!" Tam protested.

_"Wait, guys," said the ultimate fangirl, magically appearing onto the call and cutting into the conversation. "This is amazing! Technological problems give me an excuse as to why I didn't update for nearly two months! Praise all things sparkly!"_

"Update?" Biana asked, brow furrowing.

_"Yeah. You know. Because this is a story?" the ultimate fangirl explained, rolling her eyes like it was obvious._

"Wow, the fourth wall is about as irrelevant as I am," Dex muttered, changing his background to a picture of Iggy and sighing.

Fitz, unsurprisingly, ignored Dex. Well, at least Dex was used to it by now- that was why he made the joke in the first place. "Honestly, this author cannot go a hundred words without inserting a fourth wall break."

"You just broke it again," Keefe pointed out.

Something exploded in the background, Zoom indicating that it came from Marella. "Oh, don't mind me," she announced. "I'm simply burning the fourth wall."

Tam, ever a closeted Hamilfan- although not closeted very well- screamed "YOU'RE WATCHING IT BUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRNNNNNNN!"

Linh sighed, gently covering her ears. "Tam, I love you, but you do not sound like Phillipa Soo. At all."

"How dare you!?" Tam yelled, before slumping in defeat. "If only I had a good singing voice... that would be enough."

_"Ooh! Now seems like a good time to shamelessly promote myself!" the ultimate fangirl said. "If you like Hamilton and you like KOTLC, you'll love my several-month-old parody of the Ten Duel Commandments! It's on this account and is, in my oh-so-humble opinion- quite excellent."_

"You really are shameless," Dex muttered.

_"Yep! But it's actually really really good-"_

"Um, I seem to recall you saying that the story was open for the interpretation of me getting killed," Fitz pointed out.

Keefe laughed. "Like she said, really really good."

"Don't make me duel you, Sencen."

"Didn't that already happen?"

Sophie, honestly in love with her power, muted everybody and cackled. "Okay, everyone read Lodestar, right?"

Tam unmuted himself. "Um, Sophie? Didn't we, like, _live through Lodestar_?"

"Oh yeah," Sophie said. "Almost forgot."

"Don't you have a photographic memory?" Dex pointed out, unmuting himself and everyone else. There were times that Technopathy came in handy.

"Whatever," Sophie sighed. "Okay, so, this meeting has a really great question! Maybe two or even three, depending on how many words the ultimate fangirl can manage. I mean. Um. You heard nothing."

"Just like when I talk," Dex muttered.

Marella nodded. "For us underrated characters, it's sometimes like we never even make a sound." She threw an expectant glance at the ultimate fangirl, motioning for her to go ahead.

_The ultimate fangirl obliged, shrieking at the top of her lungs. "DID I EVEN MAKE A SOUND, DID I EVEN MAKE A SOUND, IT'S LIKE I NEVER MADE A SOUND, WILL I EVER MAKE A SOUND!"_

Linh, who, like her brother, was an extreme theatre nerd, continued the song. Needless to say, her voice was better than the ultimate fangirl's- it couldn't have been worse. "On the outside, always looking in-"

"ENOUGH WITH THE SINGING!" Sophie yelled, muting everyone again. "Now then. Our question is, which character did you most relate to?"

Keefe unmuted himself and cleared his throat, ready to point out the obvious. "Um, Foster-"

Sophie rolled her eyes. "Yes, Keefe, I am aware that we are all one of the characters. The catch is that you can't say yourself."

Tam raised his hand. "I have one!"

"Is it going to be Keefe?" Linh asked.

Biana nodded. "Yeah, you guys are basically the same person."

"NO!" Tam screamed. "I am not anything like that buffoon."

"And how dare you compare me to Bangs Boy?" Keefe said, at the same time.

"Anyway, I was going to say that I related to Mr. Forkle number one. Because he died outside and I'm dead inside."

"Wow... um... uplifting..." Sophie mumbled. "Keefe?"

"_Not _Bangs Boy," he said, throwing a pointed look at Biana and Linh- or so Sophie guessed, it was hard to tell when he was basically just looking at the camera and everyone's panels were in different locations anyway. "I was going to say Dex, since we are both pranksters and we both had to deal with the moste disgusting Sophitz."

Dex nodded, muting Fitz before he could reply. "You make a good point. Though I was going to say I related to Biana, because I might as well be a Vanisher."

"Interesting..." Marella said. "I think I relate most to Fintan, because we're both Pyrokinetic evil geniuses, even though I'm slightly less homocidal about it."

"I'm like Iggy!" Biana announced. "Although the plot could manage without my character, it's way better when I'm around. Everyone loves Iggy. And we both have awesome fashion sense."

"And you both smell," Fitz muttered.

"Hey!"

"Okay, Wonderboy, what about you?" Dex asked.

"Mallowmelt!" Fitz grinned. "I'm sweet and Sophie loves me."

Biana lifted an eyebrow. "Oh, really? I thought it was because if we ever needed to resort to cannibalism, you'd be the first to go."

"Ew, Biana!" Linh shrieked. "I related most to Marella, because we both have an elemental ability we're struggling to control."

"That's everyone!" Sophie announced. "I'm like Silveny. Because I've always wanted to be a sparkly flying horse. Case closed."

Keefe applauded. "Excellent reasoning, Foster."

Sophie thanked him. "All right, that's a thousand words, the bare minimum!"

"That was a surprisingly long time without a wall break, actually," Fitz muttered. "Too bad it couldn't last."

Sophie ignored him. "Great job, guys! Next book is Nightfall! And hopefully the ultimate fangirl won't take as long."

Tam sighed. "Seriously, _another_-"

HOST HAS ENDED MEETING.

**Well, that didn't really make up for the wait... whatever. Next update in maybe a week? Maybe? Hopefully?**

**Please review!**


	7. Chapter 7 (Book six)

**'Ello! I'm on a writing binge today, woo! So you get a not-late update! Woo!**

**Don't get used to it.**

**KOTLCgirlSoKeefe: Thanks! I'll try! :D**

**L: Haha, that one was probably my favorite too. Tam is such a mood. And yeah, they did! Lol. Poor Dexy. Thanks!**

**Jem: Yay! Thanks.**

**Country-Fangirl: Thanks! You're in luck, because those are two things I excel at! XD.**

**Alright, enjoy!**

"Hi everyone, welcome to today's Fourth Wall Break book club meeting!" Sophie announced, starting the Zoom meeting.

"The book club has an official name now?" Dex asked.

"I think the real question is, you chose to name it 'Fourth Wall Break book club'?" Biana said.

"What? It's a great name. Very accurate," Sophie argued. Indeed it was. The _ultimate fangirl_ was too lazy to count each fourth wall break, but it was quite a lot. Even the cover displayed a picture of a fourth wall break! There could not be a better book club name for a club that broke the fourth wall about breaking the fourth wall.

"Well, as the official stuff namer-" Keefe started.

Fitz interrupted him. "When did we make that official?"

"We didn't," Sophie answered for Keefe.

"It's been implied!" Keefe exclaimed. "Think of all the nicknames I've given you, Foster!"

Sophie rubbed her temples, sighing. "I prefer not to."

Keefe ignored that. "Well, there's Foster, Mysterious Miss F, Ultimate Splotching Champion, Girl Who Dropped Bronte on His Grumpy Butt, Lady Lectures-a-lot, Little Miss Heartbreaker, The Foster of Many Floods-"

"We get the idea," Dex interrupted.

Ignoring him- though whether it was because of Dex's irrelevance or Keefe's determination to list each one was unclear- Keefe continued. "Foster Grumpypants, Captain Mood Swing-"

"We get it!" Sophie exclaimed, muting him. "You like giving things nicknames."

_INDEED I DO, _Keefe put in the chat.

"Can we just get started?" Linh said.

"Can I just leave?" Tam offered.

"Yes to Linh, no to Tam," Sophie decided. "Today's question, to make it interesting, is what was your _least _favorite scene?"

"Ooh, that's a good question!" Biana said. "I'll have to think about that a bit more. Oh wait, maybe it was that time when I _nearly died and got a myriad of scars on my shoulders. _Or, you know, that week when Sophie was slightly mad at Keefe because it was bad for my OTP. Yeah, that one was definitely worse."

"Yeah, some answers are pretty obvious," Tam agreed. "Does that mean we don't have to answer?"

"Nice try. What do you think, Tam?"

Tam groaned. "I guess I kind of walked into that. Probably when I decided to say something _nice _to Keefe, that I wasn't mad about him joining the Neverseen. I mean, the horrors it did for my salty reputation! And our statues as enemies! People _ship _us, Sophie! They _ship _us! Do you even realize how awful that is? That would be if you were, like, shipped with Stina!"

"I think people actually do that," Sophie said thoughtfully. "Though Dex plus Stina is way more common, as is Biana plus Stina."

"Right, but doesn't it _infuriate _you that you're shipped with your sworn enemy?"

"Actually, I think my sworn enemy is more along the lines of Fintan. You know, the guy who actually tried to kill me?"

"All of you fail to comprehend how terrible that scene is! Keefe, you must agree. Back me up here!"

Keefe nodded vehemently. "Yeah, that was an awful scene. Us, almost acting like _friends? _BLEH! And shipping us is even worse."

"They're agreeing with each other," Biana stage whispered.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Tam screamed.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Keefe screamed at the same time.

"Aww, they're still in agreement!" Linh squealed. "So much for sworn enemies."

Tam, in his rage, began throwing saltshakers while Keefe therapeutically messed up his hair. Excuse me, Hair. Both boys had extremely odd ways to deal with anger- another similarity between them!

Sophie muted them both. "Um, Fitz, what do you think?"

"Hmm..." Fitz pondered the question. "I would say the worst is any scene that has my traitor of a brother in it. Except for the one where he was almost dead, that was good. Oh, and the scene where Keefe gives Sophie the paintings wasn't great either."

"I love those paintings!" Sophie exclaimed. "Why do you hate them?"

"You called Keefe the master of gifts or something like that," Fitz explained.

Keefe, who had evidently calmed from his rage, unmuted himself. "Yeah, because I am!"

_I _am the master of gifts! Me! Do you know how many baked goods I've given you!? It's a _lot_! And that teal heart necklace! And you had the nerve to suggest I wasn't the gift master? Hmmph."

"Oooookayyy..." Sophie said. "Linh?"

"Probably when Biana got hurt," Linh answered. "I thought she was dead- it was terrifying."

"Look at that!" Marella exclaimed. "An answer that doesn't spark a way-off-topic and insane conversation. Mine was when I manifested as a pyrokinetic. That wasn't fun."

"On the plus side, you get to scream 'THIS GIRL IS ON FIIIIIIRREEEEEEE!' at random intervals," Dex offered.

Marella shrugged. "True." She cleared her throat. "THIS GIRL IS ON FIIIIIIIIIREEEEE!" she screamed, igniting her hands and waving them around.

"Aaaaand, back to the insanity," Sophie declared. She muted Marella. "Keefe?"

"Hmm. I didn't like the part where I got stabbed. Or where you were mad at me. Or pretty much any time the color teal was mentioned. Or when my mother tried to kill us all. Or when I was forced to go to the Waves of Wimpiness. Or-"

"We get it, that wasn't a great book for you," Tam interrupted, flopped in a room full of saltshakers, but mostly calm.

"Hmm. Would it be wrong to say the whole eight hundred pages, then?" Keefe asked. "Wait, I did like some parts- like when I proved myself as the gift master- so I guess not. Maybe seven hundred fifty of the eight hundred?"

"I think that's a good estimate," said Dex. "My least favorite scene- can anyone guess?"

"You were in some of the scenes?" Biana asked, brow furrowed. She wasn't trying to offend Dex, but it was just fact that a majority of the Nightfall scenes were Dex-less (and therefore, worthless).

Dex let out a long sigh.

"When you were told to stay behind and work on the gadgets?" Fitz guessed.

Dex sighed again and shook his head no.

"Um... the triplets do anything to prank you?" Linh said.

"Guys! The crush cuffs scene! With the failed kiss!" Dex exclaimed, annoyed with those morons for forgetting. Then again, maybe that was a good thing, that they didn't remember his humiliation much. Not that being completely forgotten was much better.

"Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh," everyone else said together.

"Yeah, Sophie, that is _not _how you reject someone," Marella added.

Sophie's cheeks reddened. "I get it! I'm bad with romantic stuff! Which is pretty bad for a main character in a series starting to be more romance than actual plot! And I'm super oblivious! I get it!"

"At least you know your flaws," Biana said. "That's the first step to overcoming them."

Sophie groaned. "Anyway, my least favorite scene was, of course, almost dying."

"You'll have to narrow it down some," Tam said.

"All of the times I almost died."

"So, the whole eight hundred pages again?" Fitz suggested.

Sophie shrugged. "Yeah, pretty much. So, everyone's answered, but I was wondering if you all read the Keefe short story?"

_"Which, for all my readers, can be found on Shannon Messenger dot com under 'Fun Extras,'" the ultimate fangirl jumped in._

"Um, yes. Thank you. So, has everyone read it?" Sophie asked. Everyone nodded. "Great! Shall we discuss that?"

Linh, Marella, and Biana looked at each other. Then they all started squealing, pterodactyl screeching, and saying things like "ASDFGHJKL!", which Sophie wasn't even sure how they pronounced.

Fitz rolled his eyes. "Don't mind the fangirls."

_"Mind the fangirls!" the ultimate fangirl argued. "Fangirls are awesome! Linh, Marella, Biana- good job! You're becoming one of us! I couldn't be prouder!"_

"Anyway, I guess the story was alright?" Keefe said. "What I'm confused about is how this Shannon Messenger person found out what I was thinking."

_"Author's know everything," the ultimate fangirl said mysteriously. "And most of us end up getting attached to the side characters more than the main one."_

"Hmm," said Keefe. "Sophie, what did you think?"

Sophie blushed furiously.

"I guess that's our answer," Keefe said.

Sophie turned off her video. "Fitz, what did you think?"

"I didn't like it much. Too much Keephie. Is there a Fitz short story?"

Sophie nodded. "After the next book, Flashback. And I think that's everyone..."

"Um, no," said Dex. "I'm mostly indifferent about the story. Though I'd like to point out that _I _never got one, in any of the books."

Marella shrugged. "Neither have any of the girls. Only Sophie's love interests do. And Tam, probably because he was in the Neverseen and that's interesting or something?"

"Okay, now we're spoiling the next books. Shall we reconvene next month for Flashback?" Sophie said.

Everyone nodded.

"Okay, bye!"

MEETING HAS BEEN ENDED BY HOST.

**Okay, hope you liked that one! Flashback update should come at the end of August, right on schedule. Please review!**


	8. Chapter 8 (Book seven)

**Oh no! This is the second to last chapter... at least until Unlocked comes out! Which is...**

***Looks it up because I'm too lazy to do the math***

**EIGHTY DAYS AWAY!**

**Okay, that feels like a lot.**

**(Sigh.)**

**KOTLCgirlSoKeefe forever: Thanks! **

**L: Great! Thank you, thank you. Haha, Tam and Keefe are totally best friends (or, cough, something more, cough). Ahem. Poor Dexy. Yeah, that's true. I feel like the first three books were well paced but then Neverseen actually should have wrapped things up, and not all of the subplots were at all necessary.**

**Okay, enjoy!**

The loading sign swirled around and around, taunting Sophie with its slowness. Finally, the screen morphed into that of a typical Zoom meeting.

Well... typical except for the fact that three people were missing.

"Where are Keefe and Fitz?" Sophie asked, beginning to hyperventilate with worry. Her two boyfriends! The loves of her life! They were missing! Had the Neverseen kidnapped them? Had they gotten the fintonavirus- sorry, _coronavirus_? Was Grady trying to murder them? Were they dangling off a cliff until November seventeenth? The world may never know.

Unless Biana knew, considering she and Fitz were siblings. And she was a Vanisher who probably invaded Fitz's life more than necessary.

But instead of answering Sophie's question, Biana raised an eyebrow and said "And Dex? I haven't seen Dex yet?"

Sophie examined the tiles on her screen. Tam, Linh, Biana, Marella, and her. No, Dex wasn't there either- how had she not noticed?

Marella answered Biana's question. "Dex said he was sick of being irrelevant and decided not to come, instead focusing his efforts on getting the triplets' assistance in revenge on us all."

Oh. Well. They were all doomed. "How about Fitz and Keefe?"

"Oh, they're dueling," Biana answered casually.

Sophie was less casual about it. "WHAT!?" she shrieked.

"So, Flashback is the book where you and Fitz get together, right? Chandelier Head was being obnoxious about it, and Keefe was jealous, so they decided to duel each other for your hand."

"I should be the one choosing!" Sophie exclaimed. "Why do they think they can decide this for me?"

"Well, Sophie, it's been eight books-"

_"Plus Swan Song!" the ultimate fangirl interrupted, gleeful at her shameless self promotion. "That counts as a book!"_

"Fine. Sophie, it's been nine-but-actually-eight books, and you still haven't chosen, so they're taking matters into their own hands. Also, there's a song."

"A song?"

_"Yep! I have a ten duel commandments songfic! It's on my profile page!" the ultimate fangirl said, continuing to promote her own works nonstop. (WHY DO I WRITE LIKE I'M RUNNING OUT OF TIME? PROBABLY BECAUSE I PROMISED MONTHLY UPDATES AND IT'S THE TWENTY NINTH!)_

Everyone dexed her- ignored her, that is.

"Well," Sophie said, thinking of the two boys she was head over heels for- the first time she was head over heels in her life, she was usually clumsy enough to be the other way around. "I guess we'll have to- _sniff- _START WITHOUT THEM!"

"Oh, how tragic," Tam deadpanned, rolling his eyes.

Missing his sarcasm, Sophie wailed "I'm glad we agree!"

As she began pulling out her eyelashes with fear that Keefe or Fitz were gonna get SHOT (Burr check what we got, Mister Hunkyhair, pulls pranks with gulons a lot, I think Fitz's eyes look [gag] hot, Dex has a chance- _I THINK NOT,)_ Tam decided to take matters into his own hands and start the book club. The sooner they got this over with, the sooner he could roll around in his pool of salt. _I MEAN, UM, THREATEN ANY BOY- OR GIRL- WHO DARE DATES LINH!_

Clearing his throat, Tam opened a new tab on his (STUPID!) computer (THAT NEVER LISTENED!) and opened the KOTLC Wiki, going to the Flashback page. He had read the book, but had no idea what to ask about, so just decided to get a summary made by other people and comment on it when neccesary.

"Okay, so, the book starts with Alvar's tribunal," he said awkwardly.

"That part was sad," said Biana. "I know the book was from Sophie's perspective, but I could remember from mine. It was like a flashback! Haha, see what I did there?"

Marella sighed. "Biana, you're better than this."

"I know. Temporary insanity brought on by the ultimate fangirl."

_All eyes turned to the ultimate fangirl's Zoom tile. She was laughing at her own "hilarious" joke and looking not at all guilty about what she did to Biana. "Oh. Sorry," she said, very convincingly._

Ignoring the pun-ulous chaos around her, Linh said "I liked the parts with Ro. She's funny."

_"HECK YEAH SHE IS!" the ultimate fangirl cheered. "If you want to read more about Ro, go read my-"_

Sophie muted her, having composed herself. "Okay. The next plot point is the attack with the Neverseen. Thoughts?"

"Unfortunate," said Linh.

Tam rolled his eyes. "Not at _all_ predictable."

"Alvruy forever!" Marella cheered.

Biana frowned. "Rulvar?"

"Alvruy?"

"Rulvar?"

"Alvruy?"

"Rulvar?"

_"Ruler?"_

"Definitely not that one," the two said in unison.

"Anyway," said Sophie. "Next is the Great Fitzphie Sleepover."

Everyone made various noises of disgust, from Biana's "BLECH!" to Tam's "Ugh" to Linh's "Um, it definitely wasn't the best." Blushing, Sophie contributed her rather unpopular opinion. "I sort of... liked it?"

"Come on!" Marella exclaimed. "It was the most boring part of the series!"

"It wasn't boring! There was a lot of romancey stuff!"

"Yeah, and zero plot development! The whole part was like three hundred pages of filler chapters!"

"I see this is a... controversial topic," said Linh. "Shall we move on?"

"Yeah, okay," said Sophie. "Next part is training with the new bodyguard squad. Plus, BoRo."

_"Which you can read about at-"_

To the ultimate fangirl's dismay but everyone else's relief, Marella interrupted. "I liked that part. It was fun. The bodyguards are cool. Except Bo. But the Ballad makes up for him." This topic seemed to be less controversial, as everyone nodded and moved on.

"Should I even mention the Fitzphie confession?" Sophie asked.

"NO!" shouted everyone, included the _ultimate fangirl._

"Okay, um, moving on... alicorns! Baby alicorns!"

"Eeeeee!" Linh squealed. "ALICORNS! AAAAAHHHHHHHH! SO CUTE!"

Next to her, Tam scowled and tugged his bangs over his eyes. "Eh."

No one else shared his apathy. Marella, Biana, and Sophie all squealed over the baby alicorns with Linh, "EEEEEEEEE"ing until Tam muted them all and moved on to the next topic: The hidden troll hive.

"Again, I didn't really like that part," Biana said, playing with her chocolate brown curls. "It gave me too many flashbacks to the real thing. No pun intended."

"Personally, I found it a little bit of a letdown," said Marella. "Since there was this whole big thing about the Vacker legacy and then it was... trolls?"

"But Umber died, Ruy lost his powers, and Alvar almost died," Tam pointed out. "That's good, right?"

Sophie shrugged. At the same time, Linh smacked his shoulder (they were in the same room). "It's never good that someone died!"

"Okay, Linh," sighed Tam.

"The next big thing is Tam's capture. We can all agree that was bad, right?" Marella said. Everyone nodded.

"And finally," said Biana. "Sophie going to the matchmakers."

"That part was upsetting," Sophie exclaimed. "I can't believe I was unmatchable! That was so traumatic!"

Tam raised a salty eyebrow. "More traumatic than almost dying?"

"Well, I'm fairly used to almost dying."

Linh interrupted the conversation. "I was a little disappointed that you chose to focus on matchmaking rather than the Neverseen, but in the end, it's your life and I don't control it."

"We should control it!" Marella exclaimed. "Honestly. You had a lot of more important things to do, but you chose to do something you didn't even want to just 'cause you thought you had to do it to stay with your boyfriend? Very disappointing."

"Honestly, agreed."

Sophie sighed. "Well... at least it led to the plot development of me figuring out who my biological mother is?"

_"HEY! That's not until next book, and by extension, next month!" the ultimate fangirl yelled._

"True," said Sophie. "So, we'll meet back here-" her voice died in her throat. Joining the Zoom meeting was Keefe and Fitz, captured by three figures in Neverseen cloaks.

"THE NEVERSEEN ARE INVADING OUR BOOK CLUB!" Marella shouted. She paused. "Okay, that's a really weird sentence."

"Agreed," Tam muttered.

"THEY HAVE MY BOYFRIENDS!" shrieked Sophie.

Dex's face popped in front of the horrifying image. "Like my new Zoom background, guys?"

Sophie clutched her chest, still in a state of minor panic. "That wasn't funny, Dex!"

"I thought it was," Dex grinned, flashing the ***dimples***. "And this is only the first in a series of pranks. BE WARNED, PEASANTS! MUAHAHAHA!"

The meeting ended.

**Heck yeah, Dexy! Take revenge on those losers!**

**Well, not Biana. Biana is a queen. And Marella. And Linh. And Tam is cool.**

**So I guess just take revenge on Sophie. She's the one who ignores you all the time anyway.**

**And, because I was sick of Keefe and Fitz, they're doing that Ten Duel Commandments songfic. Hopefully neither of them die! :P**

**Okay, please review!**


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